


My Other Life

by Titti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-09
Updated: 2008-01-09
Packaged: 2019-01-16 05:12:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12336156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: Draco doesn't like his life anymore, but he has a plan to fix things. Unfortunately his plans never go the way he expects.





	My Other Life

**Author's Note:**

> Written for merry_smutmas 2007

Draco sat on his couch, paying no attention to the discussion going on between his wife and his parents. It was always the same thing: Muggles weren’t any good, Scorpius was having fun at Hogwarts, Shacklebolt was an idiot who couldn’t run a wooden train, let alone a country. Those topics had begun to bore Draco a year ago, when Scorpius had started Hogwarts. In fact, life had begun to bore him.

He couldn’t say that he didn’t like his life, because he did. He was still rich. He still had his parents. He had a beautiful wife, and a gorgeous son. He was still good looking, regardless what the tabloid press implied. Receding hairline, his arse. The Malfoy name was as good as ever, because people preferred forgetting rather than remembering how most people had allowed Voldemort to take over. All in all, he had a wonderful life.

Except that he was bored to death!

"Is everything all right?"

His father's voice rang clear in the room, holding his old arrogance, but Draco had seen through it when sitting around a table with a teacher hanging from the ceiling. He wasn't impressed anymore, but he loved his parents. He looked up and smiled. "I'm fine, Father. I was thinking about…work, nothing important."

"There seems to be a lot of non important things occupying you lately," Narcissa said, keeping a detached tone, but she knew her son too well to believe his excuses. "Are you certain there is nothing we can do to help?"

Draco shook his head. "I'm fine, Mother, but thank you for the offer. Now, if you don't mind, I really have some work that I'd like to take care of tonight. Tomorrow will be too hectic." It was the perfect excuse since neither his wife nor parents knew the amount of work he had. He ran different companies, but he had enough managers that things ran smoothly without his intervention. Another reason why he was so bored with life. He stood up, nodding toward his parents. "Good night. Daphne, I'll see you later," he told his wife, and he left, before anyone could stop him.

He walked through the house, until he reached his private lab. This was where he spent all his time while he was supposed to be working. The idea had sprung to mind long ago, when his family was still being investigated after Voldemort's demise and Potter was being treated like the Messiah. He would do something great, better than great, and the Malfoy name would become more important than Potter's. 

With time, the idea of fame became less important, Draco was filled with the need to prove something to himself, to do something that would erase the boredom. Draco knew that no one might find out about what he was planning to do, they wouldn't know that he would go back in time and 'fix' things, but he would become part of history literally and figuratively nonetheless.

His plan wasn't as simple as one would think. There would be no time turners nor would he physically go back in time. No, he had created a potion that would allow his consciousness to possess his younger self's body, change history while brewing the potion in the past so he could return back to his time.

It had taken almost two decades, but it was finally done. 

Draco sat on the couch and picked up the potion. He drank it at once, waiting for his consciousness to travel back in time, waiting to return to seventh year. This would be his first mission: he was going to save Severus Snape.

* * *

Draco opened his eyes when he felt someone shake him. "What?" he snapped out, but his expression changed when he saw Crabbe trying to wake him.

"We'll be late for Dark Arts," he grunted.

Draco remembered classes with Amycus Carrow: two hours of ducking while trying to learn, because if you didn't duck in time, you never knew what would hit you. "Go ahead. I'll meet you there," he said, while getting up and finding his clothes. 

When he was ready, he looked at the calendar. Tomorrow would be the final battle. He had about thirty-six hours to brew the potion and save Snape. There was no way he could accomplish all of that if he went to his classes. He decided that history would need to change a little more than he had planned. Instead of Dark Art class, he headed for an empty classroom, and began to brew.

Draco worked without stopping until he had all the potions he needed. When he was done, he looked at his watch. Another twenty minutes and Snape would leave Hogwarts forever. He ran to the Headmaster's office, trying to come up with something, any lie that would convince Snape, but the moment he was face to face with the man, he lost the ability to speak.

"What is it, Draco?" Snape asked not too kindly. "I'm busy."

"I-" Draco cleared his voice. Until this moment, this had been an intellectual exercise, something to keep the boredom at bay. Now, he was going to change history and save a man's life. At sixteen, it wouldn't have meant much, but at thirty-eight, he had learnt the importance of life. "You're going to think that I'm crazy, but soon Potter will arrive at the school and you'll leave, and later today you'll be killed. Nagini will bite your neck. You'll die of blood loss."

Snape sneered. "Did you develop the third eye like Sybil?'

Draco shook his head. "No, I- Listen, it doesn't matter. If I'm wrong, you can tell me what an imbecile I am, but if I'm right, these," he said, handing him two potions, "will save your life. One potion will regrow the flesh, while the other will help with the blood loss. Either way, you can't lose."

Snape took the vials. He uncapped them and smelt them, before closing them again. "I don't know what you're planning, but I'll make sure to ridicule you in the morning."

Draco smiled at him. "I look forward to it."

* * *

It was a simple plan, and it should have gone smoothly. Really, it should have. Draco had been making plans all his life. So what if some of them hadn't worked out the way he wanted? This plan wouldn't go wrong, because he had thought about and prepared for all possible complications.

He stayed long enough to witness the end of the battle. It was the right amount of time he needed to brew the potion to get back to his own present. What if he had saved Crabbe in the process? That shouldn't mean anything, right? It wouldn't really affect anything. But if he had planned everything so well, why was he waking up in a bed - his bed - instead of his couch, naked and wrapped in someone's arms? And why was the body plastered against his back not his wife? Because there was no way that Daphne had grown a cock overnight. 

Draco turned his head slowly, trying to make sense of what was going on. When he saw who was in his bed, Draco did the only possible thing: he screamed. It wasn't girly or anything absurd like that. No, it was a _bona fidae_ scream, because having a naked Potter feeling him up while asleep was a scary proposition. "What-" He started, scrambling out of bed and falling on his arse because his legs were all tangled up with the sheets.

Potter squinted before opening his eyes. "Draco? What's wrong?"

"Draco?" He shook his head. In twenty years, they had learnt to be civil when they met in public, but they had never, ever used first names. "What are you doing here, Potter?" he asked, trying to understand why things weren't the way he had left them.

Potter got up; he picked up a robe and put it on as if he owned it. Draco did a double take, because the robe was made of red silk, and he would never be caught in anything red, so maybe Potter did own it. While he was thinking, the man in question moved through the room and knelt at his side.

"Draco, what's going on?" He pressed his lips to Draco's forehead. "You aren't hot," he said, and then he smirked, an honest to God Malfoy smirk that looked so wrong on the man's face. "Well, you are hot, simply not feverish."

Draco's eyes went impossibly wide. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you in my bedroom? Where's my wife?"

"Wife?" Potter looked confused, not that it was difficult as far as Draco was concerned. The man achieved clarity only with a wand in his hand. "Draco, love, what's wrong with you? Where you hexed? Did something happen at the Ministry?"

"Love? Ministry?" Draco finally realized that he was still on the floor and kicked the sheets away until he could stand. It did feel a little awkward to stand naked in front of Potter, but his narcissistic nature made it tolerable. "Look, Potter, I don't know what you're doing here, but I want you to get your things and go away."

Potter sighed as he stood up. Draco could see the concern in his face, in his touch, and why hadn't he told Potter to stop touching him yet? Right, because this was insane. "What's today's date?" he suddenly asked.

"The fifth of October, 2018," Potter answered, still looking at Draco like he was going to break.

Draco shook his head, still confused about this turn of events. He had returned to his present, except that his present wasn't what it was supposed to be. Then questions began to assault him. "Where are my parents? My son? Snape?"

"Your parents are in their room or having breakfast. I might be living with them, but I don't want to think what they do in the mornings or at night for that matter. I try never to think about your parents having sex," Potter said, shivering at the thought, but smiling when he saw Draco react as well. "Yes, I think we feel the same about that. Severus is at Hogwarts, like he always is. It'd be bad form for the Headmaster to move somewhere else. And your son? Which one? I would assume that James and Lily are in Gryffindor and Albus and Scorpius are in Slytherin. It's still pretty early."

Draco pinched his nose, trying to remember what he knew of Potter in his own time/reality or whatever the hell this was. He remembered the three children, because every bloody time that the Weaslette had given birth, it had been splashed all over the news. He remembered seeing them on the platform, while waiting for the Hogwarts express, but that was pretty much it.

He looked up at the other man, when something else popped to mind. "How would _we_ , two men, would have managed to have children?"

Potter stared at him, mouth opened, waiting for God knew what, when he finally threw his hands up in the air. "All right, if you won't tell me, then we're going to see Severus and he can figure out what's going on?" He stood up, going to the closet and grabbed two robes. "Come on, get dressed. We're going to Hogwarts."

"I don't want to go to Hogwarts," Draco snapped out. He didn't want to go anywhere. "I certainly don't want to speak to Snape."

Potter frowned again. "Since when don't you want to speak to Severus? You two can't seem to spend a day without talking to each other. Sometimes I think I should be jealous."

Draco choked. "Jealous? Of me and Snape? Are you mad? He's- he's… he's a man, and I'm straight." Potter had the balls to laugh at that, making Draco even angrier. He summoned his wand, and pressed it against Potter's chest. "I want you to tell me what's going on."

To his credit, Potter didn't even flinch. Instead, he reached out and rested his hand on Draco's cheek. "I don't know, love, but I'm worried about you. I know I should be able to fix it, but when it comes to you, I can't think straight, and I'd rather have Severus help, because I know he can be objective. We'll figure this out, but please, you have to trust me."

Draco hesitated. Potter was too earnest for this to be a joke, and if he were honest, he couldn't imagine why Potter would care about playing a joke or why Daphne would go along. The more Potter talked, the more he realized that this was his fault, his trip in the past changed things even if he didn't know how or why. "All right, Snape can probably help."

Potter nodded, and smiled, before pushing Draco's wand sideways. "Finish getting dressed and I'll Firecall Severus. We can have breakfast there."

"Okay." There wasn't much to say, not until he could figure out a way to get his present back. Still, something nagged at him. "The children? How did we have them?"

Harry smiled brightly. "Muggle methods. Egg donors and artificial insemination. Daphne and Ginny donated the eggs; two Muggle women carried them. You adopted James, Lily and Albus, and I adopted Scorpius." His smile became sad. "You don't remember." It was a question and statement all wrapped in one.

Draco shook his head. "No," he said, lying. He remembered everything, except what he remembered hadn't occurred in this reality. "The last things I remember are from the battle," he admitted with a sigh, because that was when the changes had occurred and now he had twenty years to catch up. 

"We'll figure this out, Draco." Potter closed his robe and ran his fingers through his hair before going to the fireplace.

Draco got ready, listening to one side of the discussion, but not really paying attention. He needed to find a way to fix this. He would have to go back in time and deal with whatever he had changed, but first he'd have to find out what event had caused these changes.

"Ready?"

Draco looked up at the question and nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be." He took the Floo powder from the pot Potter was holding out and got into the fireplace, heading for Hogwarts. He had barely had time to step out of the fireplace when Potter arrived right behind him.

"Professor," Draco said politely.

Snape's eyebrow went impossibly high as he watched from Draco to Potter. "What's going on, Potter?"

"Why do you always assume that it's my fault?" Potter said, rolling his eyes.

"Because it usually is," Snape rebutted.

"He can't remember anything after the last battle. Oh, and he thinks he's straight," Potter said, snorting. "I had _nothing_ to do with that."

"You always have something to do with everything Draco does," Snape continued.

"I'm not here to argue with you. I want to find a way to fix things," Potter answered.

"I could fix them if I knew what you did," Snape snapped back.

Draco watched mesmerised. It was obvious that they respected each other, but it seemed that some things hadn't changed, because they still riled each other up like they did back in school. While it was entertaining, it wouldn't get them anywhere.

"It's not his fault," Draco finally said. "Well, it is partially his fault, because I wanted to prove that I was better than him, but since he didn't know what I was doing-" He slumped down on a chair, trying to figure out where to start, which wasn't so easy when he could feel two sets of eyes drilling into him.

He took a deep breath and then looked up. "I went back in time- No, that's not technically right. I created a potion that would allow my consciousness to go back in time. My body stayed in the present, while my consciousness inhabited my younger self. Remember those potions I gave you before you left Hogwarts? I mean before the last battle."

Snape nodded slowly, until understanding dawned on him. "When you said I was going to be killed-"

"I knew you'd be killed," Draco answered.

"What the hell are you two on about?" Potter asked as he sat down as well.

Snape looked at the man. "Remember when you found me, and I asked you to help me with those potions? Well, Draco had given them to me, telling me exactly what would have happened. Afterwards, I asked him about it, and he said that he couldn't remember anything. I thought it was shock… There was so much going on back then, and I never asked again."

Potter turned to Draco, frowning. "What exactly were you doing?"

Draco shrugged. "I was bored. My friends hate me because my family survived untouched. Everyone else can't see past the name Malfoy, I mean we're still famous, but people aren't rushing to become our friends, and so I thought what better way to make an impact than to save professor Snape."

Snape sighed. "One, you will never call me that again. You kissed me; you might as well use my name."

"I, what?" Draco looked between the two. "I'm straight, I'm married. Why do you keep-"

"You kissed me right after the trial that freed your parents," Snape said, cutting him off. "We'd been working together to obtain that, and… I don't know, I guess we never saw anyone else, and-" Snape sighed. "It doesn't matter. It was long ago, but it did help you realise that maybe women weren't what you wanted."

"It does matter," Draco said frustrated. "I've never been with a man. I've married Daphne in 2000, and we're happy."

"You were bored and took a trip to the past. How happy could you have been?" Potter asked coldly.

Draco glared at Potter. "Don't you get all prissy with me. We've spoken a handful of times in my life."

"This is you life," Snape reminded him.

"Professor- Severus," he corrected himself even if the word felt strange on his tongue. "This isn't my life. I went back in time to save you. Nothing else should have changed, but I must have done something that created this different reality. Once I figure out what, I can go back and take care of it."

Severus put his hands on the desk as he stood up. He walked around it and stopped in front of Draco. "You must be out of your mind. You don't know what caused the change and how much things have changed. Life isn't static; an insignificant change creates a cascade effect. You saved me, and that alone would modify what you know. After the war, we worked together, we became friends." He put a hand on Draco's shoulder. "I know you don't know this, but I care for you and I can't let you do this. Even if you went back and let me die, there is no guarantee that you won't do something different. You might never find your reality. You might end up creating a world where Voldemort wins. You can't go back."

Draco thought about it, and understood all the complications, but he was sure that Severus was wrong. He could do it. He just needed time to figure this out and brew the potion. Until then, he'd have to make them believe that he agreed with Severus. He looked up, trying to look lost and honest at the same time, praying that Severus wouldn't see through his lies. "So what do I do now?"

"We take a vacation," Potter said with that annoying Gryffindor certainty. "You can't go to work like this. It'd be a mess. I'll tell them there has been an emergency and we need to take some time off. While we're on vacation, I can put my memories in a Pensieve so you'll know what has happened." He reached out and put a hand on Draco's arm, pulling it away when Draco winced. "Maybe we can bring the kids with us." He looked at Severus. "What do you think? We can tell them that there was an accident and Draco lost his memory. It's better than having them come home during the Christmas holidays and deal with all of this."

Draco frowned. "Do you really think it's for the best? I can learn what I need and fake it by then." He didn't mention that he didn't plan on being around in a month and a half, which made this irrelevant.

"I think he's right," Severus said. "You can see the past, but these are your children. They know you better than anyone else; they would notice." He sighed. "Draco, like it or not, this is your life now, and the sooner you get accustomed to it, the better it will be for everyone, you included. Winky," he called.

The house elf appeared in moments, standing there while her hands played nervously with her clothing. "Yes, Headmaster?"

"Have the belongings of the Potters and Malfoy packed. They'll be leaving this morning." Severus paused and then asked, "By chance, do you know where they are."

"Yes, Headmaster. They be all in the Great Hall. They be having breakfast."

"Thank you, Winky." He turned to Harry. "Would you like to talk to them and get them ready?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "He wants to talk to me alone, Potter. Easier to say yes now."

Potter sighed. "It's Harry. My name is Harry and you should start using it since we've been together for eighteen years. I know exactly what he's doing. I'm not stupid or eighteen." He stood up, and hovered over Draco for a moment as if deciding what to do, and then squeezed Draco's shoulder. "We'll find a way. I- I'll get them ready to go."

"All right." He watched Potter to – no, Harry, his lover and wasn't that a laugh? Because no matter what he did or tried to do, he was still stuck dealing with the Gryffindor hero.

"It's not that bad."

Draco blinked and focused on Severus. "What isn't it?"

"Life with Harry. He's not who he was at seventeen. He's a good Auror, father, and he loves you," Severus said. " _You_ love him."

"Except for the part that it's not me. The Draco he knew disappeared when I arrived." He frowned at his own words. "Why did that happen? Should I have known what was going on?"

Severus cocked his head, thinking. "I don't know how this potions works, but my guess is that you remained you as you travelled through time, so you have the memories of what happened in your timeline instead of this. At the same time, our Draco disappeared when you returned because he was only meant to live up to this point, but it's just a guess. We don't understand the time-space continuum and that's why time travel is frowned upon. Most time turners are limited to a few hours or days." 

He paused and Draco felt like he had back in school, but he reminded himself that he wasn't seventeen anymore. He had saved (and apparently kissed) Severus. "Whatever it is you're thinking, spit it out."

"It won't be easy, not for the Draco Malfoy I knew two decades ago, and you sound much like you did back them," Severus said amused.

"I'm not that boy," Draco answered annoyed.

"You aren't the man your lover and children know either. You can't even admit that you're gay," Severus said, openly smiling now.

"That's because I'm not," Draco snapped back as he got up. "I'll play this pretend game of yours." Until he would find a solution, he mentally added. "However, don't expect me to believe any of this. This was a mistake that happened somewhere in time. I'll prove it to you." 

"Of course you will," Severus answered, without hiding how much he didn't believe those words. "Enjoy your vacation."

Draco snorted. "More like torture, I'd say. I shall see you soon enough."

"I look forward to it." Severus watched Draco go, and hoped that the blond wouldn't cause any irreparable damage as he adjusted to his new family.

* * *

Apparently they had a small cottage in Salcombe, or at least it was small compared to the Manor. The house stood on top of a hill, partly hidden by trees. Potter walked him through the house. There were seven bedrooms, and unfortunately Draco would have to share the master bedroom with Potter. It also had five bathrooms, a shower room, a cloakroom, a utility area, a huge kitchen (not that Draco spent much time in a kitchen to know if that was larger than usual), a dining room and a sitting room. 

The house was filled with mismatched furniture and the strangest Muggle electronics. Draco actually jumped when one of their children (he thought it was James, but he couldn't keep the names straight yet) turned on a flat screen that showed images.

"It's a TV," Potter whispered.

"Right, and what would a TV be?" Draco asked.

"I can't believe you've never seen- Ouch, what was that?" Potter asked after Draco elbowed him.

Draco grabbed his arm and took him through the back door and into the patio. He forgot what he was going to say when he saw the view. It had a perfect view of the estuary and further down you could see the English Channel. "God, this is beautiful."

Potter pushed his glasses up and grinned. "Of course it is; you picked the house for the view. That and the outdoor heated pool."

"I picked this?" Draco asked surprised. He had always wanted a house like this (minus some of the furniture), but Daphne had refused to leave the manor.

Potter nodded. "You love it here. Sometimes at night, we cast spells on us so the Muggles won't see us and we fly over the estuary."

Draco smirked. "Some things don't change, I see."

"It's not what you think," Potter said with a smile. "There are no races, no fights. We do it, because we both love it." He stepped closer and closed his fingers around Draco's arm. "So what was that inside?"

"That would be me reminding you that those children-"

"Our children you mean," Potter said.

"Yes, our children would get suspicious if you mentioned that I've never seen a Muggle TV or anything else Muggle for that matter." Draco glared at Potter when he felt a hand on his back, but Potter seemed to be the same brave and stupid person because he didn't move it away. "I'm not to be pitied because I avoid inferior beings."

Potter stifled a smile. "Whatever you say, Draco."

"Do you say that a lot? Because it might explain why we got together," Draco said, smiling for the first time.

"It's easier to go along with what you say, especially when I know that you don't mean it." Potter stepped closer. "I don't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I lost my lover, the man I consider my husband, and they have lost a father because of this time travel. We – you and me - need to deal with this, but they can't suffer from it, so get used to the fact that I love you, because time travel or not, deep down you are the same person. I don't care what you and Severus say. You might have a different upbringing, different experiences, but you're still Draco Malfoy, my Draco, and I have faith in you."

"It's not that simple," Draco started to say.

"I know, but we'll make it. Now, we have to go and reassure our children, okay?" Potter asked with a smile.

"Okay," Draco answered with a sigh. "I guess I should start calling you 'Harry'."

"That'd be a good start." Potter gave him a peck on the cheek. "Come on, I know they want to spend time with you."

"Of course they would, I spoilt Scorpius rotten," Draco said.

"You spoil all of them rotten." Potter took Draco's hand and led him inside.

* * *

"What are you doing up?" Harry asked as he entered the kitchen. All the children were sitting around the isle, having breakfast. He looked at his watch and it was still seven o'clock. He didn't think he'd seen his kids up that early in at least a good five years. "Is there something I should know?"

There were three matching shrugs, but Lily looked at him and sighed. "Father isn't getting better."

Harry smiled at her. "It's only been three days," he told her gently. "You, all of you, need to give him some time." He was starting to wonder if that was true, but didn't say it. Draco was spending time looking through his memories, but it was more like an academic research than a way to get closer to his family.

"He calls you Potter," James said. 

"At least he calls Dad something," Albus murmured. "He hasn't said my name once."

Harry flinched at that. He remembered the arguments with his Draco about the name, but he'd finally convinced him. This Draco seemed to hate Dumbledore a lot more than his, and even time hadn't attenuated his feeling. "He's confused, that's all."

Scorpius snorted. "He's not confused. He's weird. He keeps staring at me like I've turned into a Hufflepuff."

"Scorpius, what have I told you about the different houses-"

His son cut him off. "I would not be a Hufflepuff," he said insulted. "I'm a Slytherin."

"I'm quite aware of that," Harry replied. "What I am saying is that your father needs time to readjust to this family. He doesn't remember anything that happened in the past two decades. To him, we are just out of school." He turned when he heard the door open. 

Draco looked at the five faces staring at him. "Don't stop on my account," he said, stepping in. "Unless you were talking about me." He stopped, hand on the refrigerator, and turned his head. "You were really talking about me," he said surprised. "While I am used to that, because people can't stop talking about a Malfoy, it's not the same when I can't remember what people are talking about."

"We weren't saying anything bad," Harry explained patiently. "We were talking about you not remembering them."

"Who says I don't remember them?" Draco snapped back. "Of course I remember them. I might not remember what we did together, but I remember them."

"It's just our names you don't remember," James said sarcastically.

"Of course I remember your names," Draco said defensively. "It's not my fault your father picked names that make me break out in hives when I hear them."

"Draco!" Harry felt his temper flare, like it hadn't in years. He stepped closer, looking at his lover menacingly. "You will stop this now, you will not act their age, and you will never again say anything negative about our children."

"Any other rules, Potter?" Draco slammed the door of the refrigerator and spun around. "I remind you that this was your idea. You suggested that we came here with them. What did you expect? I'm not a nice man, I've never been one, and you present me a child named after a man whom I've despised for decades, even after his death, and one named after a Mudblood-"

Draco found himself flying across the room. He slammed against the door, dangling a few feet from the floor. He was pinned, but trying desperately to get to his wand. He had no idea what Potter was capable of, here or in his reality, but it seemed that he was extremely powerful, because he hadn't even reached for his wand. "What are you waiting for?" he asked when it became obvious that he couldn't get his wand. "Hex me and let's get it over."

It was then that the force pinning him disappeared and he fell on the floor. "What's wrong with you? Oh wait, I know," he said, standing up. "You're finally remembering who we are."

Draco went for his wand when he saw Harry come his way, but there was no magic this time, only Harry pushing him against the door. He looked down at the hands gripping his shirt, before looking up to see a pair of green eyes too close to his face "Potter?"

"It’s Harry," he said. Under the steel tone, there was a pleading undertone that made Draco want to run away. "Potter and Malfoy were two kids who fought because they didn't know better. We know better; we've grown up. Hurting them and me isn't going to make you feel better in the long run. You'll be alone and upset. Instead we can help, but you have to let us." 

Draco mentally cursed this stupid display of emotions, but worse he hated that this Potter seemed to know his coping mechanisms. No one should see the weakness behind his hurtful comments. "I don't need help," he said.

"We- I will give it anyway," Potter said softly, "because I won't let you use our children."

There was no answer to give to that, not without implying that he was scared and he was lashing out against the only people around. "I should go view more memories. Would you like to unglue yourself from me?"

Potter had the courage to smile. "I'd like to get a lot closer," he said with a grin, before stepping back. "I'll see you later."

"Of course." Draco had no intention of leaving his room for the rest of the day.

* * *

It had been a long week, and Harry was starting to rethink the validity of his idea. Draco was spending more and more time in their bedroom, pouring over the memories, but Harry had noticed that they were all memories of the battle and the months after that. Draco didn't seem interested in the rest of their lives, something that the children had realised. Harry was left mediating between them. He wasn't supposed to be the voice of reason. He was the spontaneous one, the one who rushed in, and Draco was the calm one, the person who thought things over and came up with a solution. They complemented each other; it was what made them work as a couple, but now they barely spoke to each other.

"Knut for your thoughts," Narcissa said only a moment after the sound of Apparition announced her presence.

"I thought you could afford a lot more," he answered, smiling. 

"Yes, but I'm not sure your thoughts are worth more, my dear," she answered.

Harry laughed, knowing the comment meant little. It had taken him some time to figure out the true insults from things the Malfoys said to amuse themselves, but he finally understood. Narcissa had helped with that, just like she had helped with everything else once she had realised that Harry made Draco happy and she would do anything for her son.

"So, what exactly is wrong? Don't even think about lying," she warned him. "You're a lousy liar and Severus wouldn't have allowed the children to return home without a reason."

"He can't remember… well a lot of things. He doesn't remember us or the children," Harry said, before resting his head on the table.

"Maybe it's because there is nothing worth remembering," Draco said as he entered the sitting room. "Mother, you look beautiful as usual," he said, before getting closer to her. He kissed her cheek, before stepping back. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"My darling, you can't be fine," she said, smiling softly to him. "I know how much your family means to you. You convinced me and your father that we should accept Harry and the children. We wouldn't have done it if you hadn't been sure."

"Mother-"

Narcissa waved a hand. "We'll talk about it later, when we're not rushed for time."

Both Harry and Draco looked at her with similar confused expressions. "Why are we in a rush?" Draco finally asked.

She rolled her eyes. "I knew you had forgot- Oh well, you have an excuse, but Harry? You know tonight is my sister's party. You both promised you'd be there, and before you argue, I've had the house elf bring your robes. They should be in your bedroom."

Draco paled while his mother talked. "Aunt Bella…she's alive," he whispered.

"Bella, what?" Narcissa waved a hand. "Of course not. I mean Andromeda."

He frowned. "What? We don't talk to her. We don't mention her. What the hell?" He turned to Harry unconsciously. "What's going on?"

"You saved Tonks during the battle. You didn't mean to, but you distracted Alecto Carrow, and she was able to hex him," Harry said. "Didn't that happen-"

Draco shook his head, cutting him off before he said too much. "No, Goyle killed her."

Harry stood up and walked closer. He wrapped an arm around Draco, his hand resting on Draco's back just like he liked it. "Goyle didn't take part in the battle. Someone knocked Crabbe out and Goyle took him out when the rest of the students left."

"Oh, God." Draco looked at Harry, his mother's presence forgot. "Crabbe died, so when I went back I hexed him so he'd be unconscious during the battle. What else… what else have I changed?" He looked up. "Lupin, he died trying to save Tonks."

Harry shook his head. "Remus is alive and well. After the war, Tonks and your aunt wanted to thank you, and they helped you with your parents' case, and you became closer."

"It never happened, none of it-" The realization hit him all at once. He could have caused so many changes, so many little things that even if he went back, he might never be able to get it right. 

He was stuck.

Draco did the only thing possible. He pulled away and ran out of the room.

"What's going on, Harry?" Narcissa asked, an elegant eyebrow arched in question.

"Narcissa, not now, please. Tomorrow, we'll talk, but not now," he said pleading. "Tell Andromeda that we can't make it. Tell her- tell her something."

She sighed. "Don't worry, I'll take care of my sister, but you take care of my boy, and I expect you both in the morning." She Disapparated away before Harry could answer, much to his relief.

Harry looked around the house and finally found Draco, kneeling on their bathroom floor. "Are you all right?"

Draco glared at him. "I'm kissing porcelain, how could you think I’m all right?" He stood up, and tried to keep his annoyed look, but when he looked in the mirror, he saw a different life that he'd never have again.

He gripped the sink so hard that his knuckles turned white. "I thought- If I looked at enough memories, I'd know what I'd changed. I thought I could go back, and get my life, but I can't. Too much has been changed, too much and you wouldn't even know what, because you have no idea what my other life was like." He shut his eyes wide, while he rubbed his face. "Oh god, I'm stuck here. I'm stuck here forever."

Harry moved closer, resting a hand on Draco's back, one of the many familiar touches that seemed almost out of place now. "I wish I could say I'm sorry," he said softly. "Maybe… in a way, I am sorry. I don't like seeing you so upset, but I know you, I know you love our children, and I know we can be happy if you finally give us a chance, and if it doesn't work out-" He stopped, the words feeling bitter on his tongue. He had never considered the possibility that they would split up. "If you can't live with me, then it's okay, too, as long as you try with the children."

Draco spun around, not sure why Harry's words upset him so much. "So is that it? You're ready to give up."

Harry shook his head. "No, I'm not giving up. I'm trying to make you happy. It's what we do." He laced his fingers with Draco's and squeezed them gently. "We'll be fine. We survived Voldemort, this is a minor incident along the way," he said, smiling. "Brush your teeth, and then we'll start looking at more memories, but I'm choosing them now."

"Bossy," Draco answered, but not really upset. In fact, he was pretty happy that he didn't have to make any decision at the moment. "I'll be right there." He watched Harry go, before turning to the sink again. A toothbrush could take away the bad taste in his mouth; he wished that there were an easy solution to wipe out the past week.

* * *

Draco had immersed himself in Harry's memories. He would view hundreds each day. He watched the birth of his children (and he was starting to see why all four were his as much as Harry's), Christmases, birthdays, and normal every day life, but nothing seemed to make him feel what he was obviously feeling in those memories.

He was always looking for the next memory, the one that would turn him into the Draco everyone around here knew. He picked up another vial and dropped the memory into the Pensieve. He prepared himself for yet another scene of family life as he dipped his fingers into the silvery liquid.

_Moonlight filtered through the linen curtains, slicing through the darkness in the room, casting a game of chiaroscuro on the two figures moving on the bed. He hesitated, but when he heard voices he stepped closer trying to listen to what they were saying. He stopped when he was standing to the side of the bed._

_It was so strange to see himself lying on top of Harry, while Harry rested lazily against the mattress, laughing. The sheets were tangled with their limbs, showing more than covering them._

_"Your reaction isn't exactly reassuring," Draco said, nipping Harry's lip._

_Harry laced his fingers behind Draco's neck and pulled him closer for a kiss. "You're too arrogant to have doubts about your sexual prowess." He smiled brightly as he pushed Draco's hair behind his ear. "I can't believe we're going to be parents."_

_"You took me out to celebrate this very fact. That's very stupid if you don't believe it," Draco answered with a smirk._

_Harry's laugh resonated in the room before speaking, "You're an arse."_

_"But you love me," Draco said, the certainty ringing clear in his voice._

_Harry became serious and nodded. "Yes, I do. I can't imagine my life without you." He pulled Draco closer and kissed him gently, coaxing him to part his lips as Harry explored Draco's mouth._

_"Do you know-"_

_Harry nodded. "I know you love me, now stop talking and show it to me."_

_Draco arched one eyebrow, but then chuckled. "I could do that."_

_"Still talking," Harry answered, stretching his neck. Draco leaned down and closed the gap and their lips met again. There was no softness this time, teeth scraping tender skin, before Draco's tongue plundered inside Harry's mouth, fucking it._

_Their hands moved, slowly at first, and then, they were everywhere, mapping their bodies while Draco rocked against Harry, their erections sliding against each other._

_"You still aren't fucking me," Harry breathed out as he pulled back for air._

_"Getting there." Draco fought with the sheets, pulling them away, until they were completely exposed. He reached blindly, his hand moving over the night stand before finding what he was looking for. He uncapped the vial, pouring the oil on his hand, not caring about the drops staining the sheets._

_He shifted and pressed his slicked fingers against Harry's hole, teasing it and pressing against it, before a finger slipping in with familiar ease. "Is this better?"_

_Harry pushed down, forcing Draco's finger deeper inside his body. "Not even close," he answered. "I'm not a blushing virgin. Just fuck me already."_

_Draco bit Harry's ear. "I won't hurt you," he growled as he continued to push one finger in and out with slow thrusts._

_"You aren't. You won't. Just fuck me." The words were let out with a sob, the need evident in Harry's voice. "Please, Draco."_

_"Not yet, baby." He added another finger, cork-screwing Harry and trying to ignore the ache in his groin. He wanted to be buried inside Harry, he needed it, but he wouldn't harm him. He waited until he felt Harry relax around his fingers before kneeling between Harry's legs. He poured more oil on his palm before slicking his cock. "You're going to feel this."_

_"I hope so," Harry answered, chuckling. He grabbed a pillow and stuck it under his hips before raising his legs, ankles resting on Draco's shoulder. "Is this invitation enough?"_

_"You need to learn to shut up," Draco answered._

_"Look who's-"_

_Draco cut him off with a kiss, while the blunt head of his cock pressed against Harry. It was a gentle reminder at first, and then Draco canted his hips, his cock pushing past the tight ring. He moved slowly, feeling the stretch around his cock until he was balls deep inside Harry. "Is_ this _better?"_

_"Your ego will swell if I answer," Harry answered._

_Draco pulled out and pushed back in with one, long thrust. "It's my cock you have to worry about."_

_"Nah, I like your cock swelling," he rebutted, smiling._

_"One day you'll stop bitching," Draco said after another thrust._

_"You'd get bored if I did," Harry answered with a cheeky grin._

_Draco chuckled. "You're probably right." The affection was as clear in those words as it was in their touches and kisses, which became more inflamed as Draco continued to rock his hips, each stroke become harder and deeper than the one before, until he settled on a steady rhythm._

_Harry threw his head back, his body succumbing to the onslaught of sensations, reciting Draco's name like a prayer. His fingers clenched, fisting the sheet. "I'm close… Draco, please, touch me."_

_Draco didn't answer, but pushed harder, his balls slapping against Harry's arse. He waited until he felt his orgasm pool in his stomach, and then closed his fingers around Harry's erection, stroking him fast and rough, just like Harry liked it. "Come on, baby."_

_Harry didn't need any encouragement. The moment Draco touched him, his entire body froze, toes curled in pure bliss, before he spurted come between them and fell, boneless, against the mattress, rocking with each thrust. A few strokes, and Draco was coming too, filling Harry. He fell on top of Harry, burying his head in the crook of Harry's neck, kissing him and murmuring nonsense to him._

Draco suddenly pulled away from the Pensive when he felt a hand on his back. His cheeks were on fire, and he knew himself well enough to know that he was lobster red from his chest to his hairline. He turned around, facing his- He didn't even know what Potter was anymore. "Why did you put that memory in?"

Harry didn't pretend not to know to which memory Draco was referring. He knew his lover too well. "Because that's us, because you might think you're straight, but you're aroused, because I want you to know all about us."

Draco shook his head, still trying to process everything he was seeing. "I… I've never thought about a man, and that- he obviously wants you."

Harry pressed the heel of his hand against Draco's erection. " _You_ want me."

Draco took a few steps back, pressing his back against the Pensieve. "I can't." He licked his lips, trying to clear his head. "This is so new, different. I hated you. Maybe not hated, but strongly disliked you. Sure, we were civil, but I still resented you, and then I show up here, and I find out that we love each other and we have a family. I might not know this Scorpius, but I still know him, and I can see your- our children are hurt because I've been rude and callous, but I never thought that I'd be here long enough to matter, and now, they probably hate me."

"They don't hate you, Draco. They are confused," Harry pointed out.

"Of course, they are," Draco snapped out. "You act like everything is fine, like this is a memory problem that will go away. You pretend that I'm the person you love, you get in bed with me like it's the most normal thing in the world, like we aren't carefully avoiding each other while we sleep. None of this is normal. I can't just pretend that I didn't have a wife, that I've never been with a man. I-" He ran his fingers through his hair. "We can't pretend that everything will magically return the way it was."

Harry stepped closer and rested his fingers on Draco's hips. "This evening proved that we can get back what we had. You are attracted to me, and you don't have to tell me that you care about the children. I've seen it everyday since you realised that you couldn't change things back. I've seen the way you've talked to Lily, or how you've flown with James, or how you've taught pranks to Albus, and by the way, Severus is going to hex you when he finds out."

Draco laughed at that. "He won't. Albus is a Slytherin after all."

"Yeah, he is, and that's your influence. He loves you so much," Harry murmured. He smiled as he rested his forehead against Draco's. "You love them and you… maybe you don't love me yet, but hopefully, one day you'll love me, too, and I'm willing to wait."

"I can't promise you that things will work out the way you want," Draco said.

"I know. Promise me that you'll do what you've been doing. You keep watching my memories, and we keep living together. Keep an open mind, and I know we can have back what we had," Harry answered with confidence.

"I don't know how you do it. You're always full of certainties. Things aren't so simple." Draco reached out tentatively, his fingers curling around Harry's hips, mimicking Harry's position. "It won't be easy."

"Nothing has ever been easy with us, but we're worth it." Harry leaned closer and clipped the corner of Draco's mouth. "We'll be all right."

"I hope, but the kids are going back to school and we have to go back to work." Draco was dreading the moment. He didn't know what to expect there, no matter how many memories he watched.

"You'll do fine. You're Draco Malfoy," Harry said with a smile. "I'll be there if you need me."

Draco smiled back. "That shouldn't sound as reassuring as it does."

"Yes, it should." He pressed his lips against Draco's, before taking a deep breath and stepping back. "They are waiting for us. They sent me to tell you that we're taking them out for dinner."

"Since when do I obey orders?" Draco asked, but already moving to find a jacket.

"Since the day our children were old enough to give them," Harry answered, chuckling. "I'll wait in there."

"No- Wait." Draco put on a jacket, and then neared Harry. He looked down and laced his fingers with Harry's. "You always hold hands in those memories. When you're with friends and family, I mean."

" _We_ always hold hands." Harry squeezed Draco's fingers. "We'll be fine. Trust me."

Draco rarely trusted people, and never Potter, but things changed. He smiled to himself when he realised that maybe this life could be better. "I do," he whispered back, before walking out of their room and into another night with his family.

* * *

_Epilogue_

A little over two months later, Draco rushed out of his office, and Apparated to Kings Cross Road. He navigated through the crowd of Muggles before reaching Platform 9 ¾. He looked for Harry. The platform was crowded, but the group of redheads was a dead giveaway. 

Draco approached the Weasleys, trying to push away that prickly feeling of annoyance he felt every time he was close to them, and smiled politely. "Good afternoon." He wrapped an arm around Harry and kissed him in greeting. "Sorry I'm late."

"Is everything all right at work?" Harry asked, always worried about what could go wrong considering that Draco would never know everything that had happened in the past.

"Yes, just the usual imbeciles making things harder than they should be," Draco answered. "They always need me to fix things."

"Always so modest, Malfoy," Ron said, rolling his eyes.

"Merely stating the truth, Weasley," Draco answered back with a smirk. This was the best part of talking to Weasley, the old banter that felt so familiar.

"Stop it, you two," Hermione said. "You still act like you did at sixteen."

"Only with each other, fortunately," Harry added, before leaning for another kiss. "This is so much more enjoyable than trading insults."

"Stop it, Harry. I have to scrub my brain now," Ron muttered.

"Saved by the bell," Hermione said, smiling when she heard the Hogwarts Express approaching the station. 

Moments later, the platform was swarming with students of all ages. An assortment of trunks and pets following them around as they found their parents. Draco manoeuvred Harry away from the Weasleys and their myriad of children as they welcomed their own four children.

James looked at his parents and the way they were holding each other and then groaned. "I'm not sure if I'm glad things are back to normal."

"Really?" Albus looked up, eyes wide, and then ran to hug Draco. "You'll even say my name now?"

Draco looked at Harry for help, before smiling and hugging his son back. "Yes, Albus, I can say your name." He looked at the other two. "What about you? I don't get a hug." He wasn't surprised at Scorpius snobbish, one-arm hug; he had trademarked it long before Scorpius' birth. Lily's hug was gentle and loving, and Draco wanted to keep her in his arms forever and protect her from the world. "Ready to go home?"

Lily smiled at him. "James is being stupid again. It's really good to have things back to normal."

Things weren't exactly back to normal. There were times at work when Draco didn't know what to do, there were anniversaries and occasions he didn't know about, but things were improving and life with Harry… He was sure their sex life wasn't anywhere near what it used to be, and Draco thought blow jobs were disgusting unless he was on the receiving end, but they were getting closer, and Draco liked this life a lot more than he did his previous one. 

He glanced at Harry before he looked at his daughter. "I know, love. It's really good, and it's good to have you all back," he said without hiding his happiness. 

"We missed you," Harry said. "Now, let's help with your things." There was some rearranging before the house elves Disapparated with the trunks. "I think we're set," Harry said after making sure that all their belongings had been taken care of.

Draco brought out a broken looking glass. "I had a Portkey done." It was one of the perks of working at the Ministry and having a lover who was in charge of the Auror department. "Everyone gather around." He took Harry's hand as he watched his children take hold of the looking glass. Four smiling faces (or three smiling face and one sullen teenager) were looking back at him, and Draco had never seen a better sight in his life.

Harry squeezed his hand. "We'll be fine."

Draco couldn't remember feeling grateful to anyone before, but he loved the way Harry was always reassuring him. It was one of the reasons why he might just fall in love with Harry. Draco smiled brightly. "We'll be great." A moment later, they were arriving at Malfoy manor to live their imperfect, wonderful life.


End file.
